Background

My whole life I've struggled with my weight.  Since I was a baby, I had been overweight, except for a brief period where I was super sick.  I love my mom, she's amazing and one of the most loving people I know but because of that love, she overindulged me not knowing how harmful it would turn out to be.  At least once a year, once I started middle school, she would push me to lose weight and would do whatever I needed for support and food/exercise to become healthier but it would usually last 2 weeks to a month.  A lot of people blame parents, and there is a little truth to that albeit most of the time it's just ignorance.  The older I got, the more I realized I couldn't blame anyone but myself. I tried, I TRIED, to lose weight I don't know how many times where I would lose 20 lbs! But then gain 40 =\ then lose 20 lbs again! But then gain more back.  In 2008 I started working at Starbucks and weighed 440 lbs. I'm not quite sure why they hired me (apart from God's sovereignty) because it's counterproductive to have someone of that size to work at such a fast paced job.  This was were I started seeing, even though He always has, God work in my life. After being there for 8, without changing my habits, my friend Ellen pushed me to go workout. When I got there and weighed myself I was shocked!  I was at 390! I had lost 50 lbs just by moving around at Sbux so I thought, "might as well keep on going!" I started off by walking 5 minutes and my feet were killing me! Then the next week I was able to do 15 minutes! The following week I jogged for a straight minute and I felt like crying because I couldn't remember the last time I was able to jog! Little by little I was able to increase my speed and endurance.  Every month without fail I would lose 20 lbs! I couldn't be more thankful to God because I knew it wasn't my own strength but the one he was giving me.  Nothing could tempt me and I had always been so quick to fall into temptation.  In little less than a year I had gotten down to 225 lbs! It felt amazing! But unfortunately my pride got to me.  I remember thinking, "I've lost all this weight and that person can't lose those 10 lbs they complain about?" (Forgetting the strength that GOD had given me) "I eat so healthy but I still don't look it to people who barely meet me... People still call me 'big guy' although I've lost over 200 lbs?" So after this, was when I got humbled.  4 years ago, after mastering regular backflips on the trampoline at Sky High, I tried to do a backflip off of the wall and although I was able to do 3, on my fourth, I landed wrong and I over extended a tendon on my left foot and it tore.  This led to me not being able to run, which at the time was my passion. I would run at least 5 miles a day and usually 10 miles 3 times a week. The most I have ever run is 16.75 miles, right before my injury, training for a marathon.  This led to depression, laziness, and a lot of bad habits and that's when I started gaining weight back.  I always thought, "okay I gained five pounds but I'll really stop myself from gaining weight when I'm at 250" then came 250, "okay 275" and so on. I tried several times to lose weight but with minor victories because my motivation was totally wrong.  Before I got married I went to the gym to weigh myself and I was ashamed that I had gotten to 390 and felt horrible... All that hard work for nothing. I thought once I got married it was easier but it got harder not to buy the bad stuff. Now, 6 months after marriage, I went to the gym again knowing I had gained more weight but I was thinking less than 440, which had been my highest, I became over taken with sadness when I saw the number... 462. 22 more lbs than the heaviest I had ever been.  All that work gone to waste.  I came home, shared with my wife and cried and asked her to help me and we prayed.  I honestly feel like my body can't handle to gain any more weight. Everything causes me to sweat, I can barely do simple things without my heart going crazy.  I've been praying and asking God that I may glorify Him in this like I'm supposed to and that I need Hos strength.  Last time I lost the weight I wasn't saved and this time around I know I have a lot of friends and family to keep me accountable. God has been giving me crazy motivation and this week has been great as far as nutrition and exercise. Because of my injuries and size, swimming has been excellent exercise! Even after a week of exercise and cleaner eating, I feel a little better and don't feel like I'm going to get a heart attack and have to wait a couple minutes outside of class so people don't hear my heavy breathing after I walk the 15 minute walk. If you read this I'm asking for prayer and support in any way possible!  By God's grace, I know how to lose the weight after having studied nutrition.  What I need is the growth in self control and motivation only He can provide.  I know God does everything for His glory and my good so like David says, "1 I love you, O LORD, my strength. 

2 The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold."

Psalms 18:1-2. I'm not doing this just to look better or so that things are easier to do but to glorify Him who is worthy of all praise!